A Trying August

After a July of Celebrations, August turned out to be an emotionally trying month.

Started with a simple drinks and dinner with an old friend to chat and watch some football. Then he revealed that he’s going through an impending divorce from his wife of 15 years. From an outsider’s perspective, there were no tell-tale signs. The couple has no kids, go on many overseas trips within the year and I don’t hear any complaints/ whines from the husband every time we meet.

But yet, he says they have always been drifting apart. Marriage, it seems, is just like a temporal stop in each other’s lives and there’ll come a time when we get out of this union and move on with our individual lives.

Do we abide by the Biblical way of 一男一女，一夫一妻，一辈子，一上帝？

Or the Hollywood version of having lovers for different seasons of life which changes as life goes on?

As part of my volunteer work with https://ambulancewishsingapore.com , I help to organise “wish-fulfilling” events for terminally ill patients. I try to commit to participate in one project a month and there is actually a long list of wishes to fulfill. This month, we helped to organise an outing to GBTB for Uncle R and his family on National Day weekend. It was a simple event but the greatest takeaway is to see the smiles and laughter in the family. From the grandkids to adults to Uncle R. My last memory of the event was to see him smiling and waving goodbye at us from the medical van.

Who would have expect that 2 weeks later, we will receive news from his daughter that he has passed on peacefully that Saturday morning.

Though we had limited time and interaction with one another, it was still sudden and depressing to receive the news. All I could do was to offer my condolences and say a prayer for the bereaved. I am reminded yet again on the unexpected-ness of life and to treasure time with the ones you love.

Thus you can imagine my shock when I receive news on the passing of my ex-principal/ boss Mdm Maureen Lee in this same month. This is someone whom I have spent 7 long years working together with and also someone whom I have grown to respect a lot. This was what I posted the day after 👇

7 years under your leadership is no walk in the park. It was stressful, it was tiring and even frustrating at times trying to meet your standards.

Your favourite line to me is “YYK, 你不要那么天真!”. You made me think, double think, triple think all possibilities and intentions behind every word and action.

You also told me “if everyone loves the discipline master, then he’s not doing his job!” Yet behind all my faults and mistakes as a young HOD then, you provided the security net for me to flourish.

You made me a better leader, a better thinker and a better person.

Thank you Mdm Maureen Lee for being part of the AHS family.

You have fought the fight and you have ran the race. Now you can rest and enjoy being in the arms of our Heavenly Father 🙏

In many ways, she is considered a mentor in my journey as an educator and has shaped many of my current education beliefs. Many students, teachers and officers were also touched by her. I was deeply saddened that morning and was trying to hold back tears at my workstation.

It was an emotionally trying August.

To see relationships broken and friends (new & old) lost.

As parents of teens, we probably reach a life stage where kids are preparing to fly the coop, and our older family members are moving towards old age. Time spent with kids is getting lesser, but time needed with older folks is probably increasing due to certain needs.

How do we manage this?

How do we keep ourselves 'sane' in the midst of this 'cry for attention'?

How do we handle such emotional trying times?

One thing we did was to talk about such stories with our kids. I shared my sorrow with them and they were mature enough to understand. They probably did not know what words to say but they could offer a listening ear (though they did not have much of a choice!) and share our burdens. We also got the kids to take turns to visit their granny after she had an eye operation and spend some time conversing in Chinese to her (good practice for CL oral).

Despite this trying month, we continue to trust in God who knows what is best for His children. His grace is more than sufficient for all of us.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9