For my 10th blog post, I am attributing it to the woman of the house. We celebrated our 16th anniversary over the last 2 days while our kids ‘camped’ over at my sister-in-law’s place. We had 2 days all to ourselves to simply enjoy time with one another and we soooo needed this couple time. Thanks Jie!
As parents, many of us understand the need and importance for couples to have couple time together. But are we willing to devote time and energy to continue ‘courting’ one another? I think most of us spend more effort ‘chasing’ our wives during the courtship phase and once we won her hand… oh well.. what’s there to chase after anymore?
Everyone has a love language and everyone has a love tank to be filled. And since we gave our hearts to one another and vowed to love and to hold, till death do us part, we are the ones committed to fill the love tank of our wives, and vice versa.
Don’t stop loving and showing affection to your wife. Chase her, court her, crave for her attention and don’t take her for granted.
When kids came along the way, they will become the most convenient excuse to stop enjoying couplehood. It will be difficult initially during the infancy stage as kids are most needy and almost totally dependent on the mother. It takes effort and planning, as well as the ‘hard-hearted-ness’ to be able to leave things at home and enjoy some moments of respite. But it can be done. We put in effort for things we believe is important.
We are blessed with good domestic helpers who can help to jaga the kids when we are out. At the beginning, we will get the kids to have an early dinner and packed them to bed by 7.30pm. At some stage, my wife even recorded some audio book reading to play to them while they are in bed (EFFORT!) We could be out of the house by 8pm and still enjoy our couple dinner. As the kids got older, they were able to go to bed themselves at an agreed timing. At this stage, they were used to having papa mama going for paktor time and were also less needy and whiny. This gives us even more coupletime for ourselves and sometimes, we could even catch a movie (NOT THOSE KIDDY MOVIES RATED G). For those without domestic helpers, there are trusted family and friends who can help, and sometimes, are very willing to help for that couple of hours. We have church friends and family who don’t mind spending some time with our kids and we do appreciate their willingness and offer to help.
Don’t stop loving your wife. She needs it a lot.. from you. For husbands who feel ‘neglected’ at home cos the wife is always busy with some things, don’t stop courting her. Create time for her by helping her in whatever ways you can. Set aside an agreed date and time and stick to it. Make her feel you want to have the time and attention from her. Didn’t we used to do all these when we were trying to win her over? Despite possible rejection then, we still do our best to win her heart. It takes even more effort now to KEEP HER HEART.
On the journey of parenting, 2 is always better than 1. You need the partnership of your spouse to embark on this journey. For this partnership to work, you need to continue loving one another by filling each other’s love tank. Your kids will whine and complain when they see both of you spending time without them (Actually they will always do, that’s why they are kids) But for them to witness love-in-action between their parents, this will impact them for life.
As mentioned earlier, I am attributing this post to my wife and I’ll share 4 things I learnt about her from our couple time the last 2 days…
1. She skips the Level Ones of major department stores cos she doesn’t need perfume nor cosmetics nor skincare products. She’s pretty and pleasant-smelling enough.
2. When she eats something nice, she will immediately think of who she can bring to eat with the next time. That’s how she shows love to ppl ard her.
3. She is focused and determined in her shopping. When she wants to get something, she will roam every shop to find that item. She will not settle for less. That’s why she chose me 😊
4. When she tries on something like a dress or skirt in the changing room, she will always take a photo to ask me for my opinion. That’s how much she values whether I like it or not. And also usually I’ll pay…
Happy 16th anniversary babe!
“Two are better than one.. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10