This week’s Facebook memories reminded me of a post a few years ago. Amazingly, the theme behind that post is still similar to what I recently blogged about on my role as a father. And all the more I am reminded of this role especially during the holidays. Here is the post:
Once upon a time, I used to dread the requests from the kids to go play new sports with them. Can't I just bring u all there and u guys play on ur own?
Play badminton- I spend more time picking the shuttlecock than actually hitting it.
Play basketball- It's better I stand under the basket and catch the air balls.
Cycling- .... Those back breaking times trying to hold their bikes as they try to stay balanced 😱
Swimming- I spend so much time in the kids pool that I forgotten how the adults pool look like (ok this is an exaggeration)
It's just so tiring to drag myself out of the sofa after work or on restful weekends... But one badminton session with the boys (the game I dread most as its a game I dun enjoy) changed it all... The boys were just as frustrated as me cos they can't hit, and I had to keep picking EVERY SINGLE SHOT for almost half an hour.. As they were lamenting abt how lousy they are at the game, I was thinking how can they improve so that I can stop picking after them? And I realized the only way to improve is to keep playing.. And who else to continue playing with them, but the father? So I changed my grumbling attitude and began to encourage them in their playing. And guess what? Their hitting improved .. And of cos, I dun need to pick... as much as before😅✌✌
I also began to realize it does not matter what sports we are doing together, they just want to do it with the father. They just enjoy showing me their abilities, their skills, their improvement.. They want my approval, even if it's just a nod from me...
We enjoying trying all sorts of activities now... And exploring new ones during these holidays.. We did floorball, and thanks to groupon, we had low-priced roller blading lessons over the weekend. I was the only father in the group learning blading with the boys!
I had such good sleep over the weekend cos I was so tired after double blading sessions on both sat and sun. But I know it's time well spent and I would trade nothing in the world to be there doing the activity with them... If not me, then who? 当爸爸真好！
Looking at this post brought back many fond memories of those yester-years where your kids will want you to do everything with them. Anything and everything is fun as they simply crave for our attention.
Nowadays with a teen, a tween and a tweening girl, there are more things to consider. 1. Is it engaging for everybody? Does everyone find it fun? Will everyone like it? (This is getting increasingly difficult) 2. When is a suitable date/time that fits everyone’s schedule? 3. With Covid SMM in place, need to make prior booking? Availability? Pricing? 4. And at their age, HOW IS THEIR MOOD FOR THE DAY? 🙄
As they grow, their expectations change, their allocation of time change too. Teen has his time for church activities, friends, CCA training and rest. Tween‘s schedule is getting packed too. In a way, we are facing a Stage 1 Empty-Nest-Syndrome and we are starting to have some meals when we are missing one or two of them at home.
This makes every little opportunity to have family activities together even more precious. This makes every little effort to create such opportunities even more necessary. Despite the challenges of having family time, much more effort and thought should be put in to PURPOSEFULLY create time. As the kids grow older, parents should communicate the importance of family time to them at every opportunity. I am always fascinated when friends comment ‘Wah, your teen still will go do this with you all ah…’ and in my heart, I am thankful and I know this is not by chance, but through constant reminders and communication to the kids. Family time is important. Doing things as a family brings us closer. Treasure each moment we have together now before we lose it.
Recently due to our house moving, we have been eating dabao food for almost 3 weeks. Just last night, the wife felt equipped enough to start cooking again at the new place. Kids exclaimed oohhhh finally we have home cooked food… and proceeded to lick everything off their plates 😋 After so much dabao food, home cooked food has never tasted better.
Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. But we don’t need to wait till the ’Fully Absent’ stage to start missing those fond times. Don’t wait till then to regret the ‘why didn’t I’. Treasure the times we have now. Make effort to create family time.
if not now, then when?
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity….“ Ephesians 5:15-16