Realised I got to start somewhere with this someday somehow so finally got down to doing this today on one of my busiest days.
Start a fathering blog
That's 13 years late. With a Sec 1 teenager, a PSLE boy and a P4 girl, all with growing hormones and maturing by the day. Things are growing and changing so fast that I fear I lose all these precious learning experiences if I don't get to write them down soon. Or is it me who is growing old too fast with a fading memory that I have trouble at times trying to remember what I had for lunch the day before (it's Japanese bento with sashimi).
ANYWAY.... here goes : )
My wife, Angelia, is the inspiration and motivation behind this fathering blog.
Being a mum blogger herself, she is part of a larger mum blogging community who posts and organises activities regularly. They support one another and used to meet up once in a while to put a face to all the words and stories they have been reading about. It's quite a tight community and they identify one another by their blog name / ig handle / how many followers they have / inspired / bought
So... the wife's been bugging me and edging me on to do a papa blog. Apparently there're very few papa bloggers around to provide a perspective on parenting from the men's point of view. I could see a few reasons why:
Men have better things to do with their time. Work, play socialise, family, rest. Repeat. Where got time to blog???
Men feels too imperfect to blog their views on parenting. Who am I to share my PERSPECTIVE on how to handle my own kids? I don't want people to start scrutinising my life and comment 'Wah biang eh, this guy totally no self-control but yet dare to blog about how he taught his kids about delayed gratification?!! ... NO WAY.
Lack of encouragement from others. One main reason that kept my wife going on her mothering blog is due to the close-knitted support from the mummy blogging community, as well as the followers / readers.
"Oh that's so sweet... I love the way you ____... so inspiring... I'm so gonna try
this.."
"Thanks for sharing these tips. It helped me a lot as I felt so inadequate to
teach my kids _____"
Can you imagine a guy responding in this way to a papa blog? Guys will
MAYBE read, MAYBE get inspired, MAYBE go try, MAYBE succeed, MAYBE
agree it's actually a good idea, and then finally MAYBE post a word of
encouragement. MAYBE I'll die of thirst before that eventually happens.
Thus, a lack of response => a lack of encouragement => a dearth of papa
bloggers.
I rest my case.
Then why do I still do this?
It is exactly because the more we fathers face a lack of support and encouragement, the more we need to stand up to support and encourage one another. Men need to know we are not alone. And I believe no men started their journey wanting to be a lousy husband or father. We probably lost steam, grew tired, and became discouraged along the way. Hence, it is my prayer to use this blog to build a community of fathers to share, pray and encourage one another, to spur each other to become a better man, a more loving husband and a more loved father.
The average life span of a man is 80. I had passed the mid-point a few years ago. I actually spent my half-time break wasting time away on useless pursuits. Now that I'm in my second half, call is a mid-life crisis, living my better half, or ending it well, I want to leave something behind for my kids and for people around me. A legacy (Ok too strong a word). Something that those around me will remember me for. My thoughts, my experiences, my life.
For my wife, for my kids, for myself, for God.
"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so GREAT A CLOUD OF WITNESSES, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us RUN THE RACE with endurance, that is set before us, looking unto JESUS... " Hebrews 12:1-2