We reacted with shock and sadness over the death of the 11 year old twin boys at Greenridge Crescent.
With the recent focus on mental health of young people, my first reaction was ‘Please don’t let this be a double suicide case.’
We now know it is not. What shocked us the next day was the arrest of the murder suspect- the father of the twin boys.
We begin asking questions.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
It was later revealed that the twins are children with special needs. And because of this ‘condition’, we somehow assumed many answers.
Something must have snapped in the dad.
Do you know it is tiring and frustrating to take care of children with special needs?
We need to give more support to parents with special needs children.
As much as I think we are too quick to assume the dad ‘snapped‘ and decided to end the lives of his flesh and bones, I can’t seem to find an answer.
What was the last thing that happened that led to him making this decision? What thoughts went through the boys’ minds at that moment of realisation? (I shudder to think)
What has he been facing on a daily basis?
Another tantrum thrown, another mess uncleaned, another emotion uncontrolled.
OR
A prolonged stare from a member of public at the constant sounds his kids made.
A ‘Tsk‘ made purposely audible to him from a fellow diner when his kids screamed in the food court.
A call from a school teacher complaining about how his kids were constantly disrupting the class and asking him to help ‘deal with it’.
Is it just the stress of taking care of the boys?
Or the weight of public expectations that got to him?
I have to admit…
I am guilty of giving that prolonged stare and audible Tsk at helpless parents. I am also guilty of calling parents to ask them to help… deal with it 😞
In the whole process of focusing on the child, we sometimes forget that parents are humans who have their limits and needs too. Parents do need our support and compassion as well.
From now on, I will learn to
Turn my stares into smiles
Hold back the ‘Tsks’ and find ways to support the parents
Actively look out for praise-worthy behaviour, no matter how small, and pass the feedback to the parents. Good job, he has done it cos you made it happen! Well done 👏
Through this incident, I’m glad to hear of support groups for parents with special needs children.
But more importantly, we as a society needs to move as a whole to show a little more patience, a little more kindness and a little more encouragement daily. One small step at a time.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11