一个男人要养家，要顾家，要护家，最重要的，一个男人要爱家.
I hope I have not been too harsh and been piling RESPONSIBILITIES upon the shoulders of fathers. Seems like it’s so stressful to be a father.. got to feed the family, care about the family, protect the family.. but yet, if all these are done without LOVE, then it amounts to nothing.
Do you love to be with your family?
Do you love to be a father?
Do you love your children?
Can you imagine, I can actually feed, take care and protect my family without really loving them, simply because I am fulfilling a responsibility. Think about this, is parenting a calling or is parenting simply fulfilling a responsibility / KPI as a parent?
I recently read an article comparing Calling-oriented VS Results-oriented employees. Calling-oriented employees focus on the purpose of the company and stay true to the calling of why the company exist in the first place. Results-oriented employees focus on the bottom-line, profits and positive results, even if it’s at the expense of the original purpose of the company.
Companies that are results driven and have to answer to shareholders tend to favour results-oriented employees. They may not stay in the same company as lengthy as calling-oriented employees, but they deliver results which is what matters most to the company.
The article actually suggests companies should hire more results-oriented employees as they deliver results better than calling-oriented employees. It also warns of the halo-effect of calling-oriented employees who tend to be naturally favoured by the bosses.
I believe it depends on which area of ‘work’ we are looking at. In fields like social services and education, employees should be more calling-oriented. In these areas, the impact cannot be measured by numbers alone and the focus should not be on chasing after results. It takes a clear calling to stay in these jobs despite difficulties and challenges.
So is parenting Calling-oriented, or Results-oriented?
Am I feeding my family, showing care to my family and offering protection to my family because I am fulfilling a responsibility as a parent?
Or is it done out of love?
Is parenting a job with KPIs to meet & other ’businesses’ to compete against? It becomes a rat race to be first, to be the best. We make ourselves believe that this is for their good in future. We engage them in activities that ensure they will always have a headstart in life. And we pat ourselves on our back when the KPIs are achieved as we have done a good job.
Do I feed my family because I know it is an investment and one day, it’ll be their turn to feed me back? Do I care for their results in school because I don’t want to be embarrassed during CNY? Do I protect my family because I don’t want to be seen as an irresponsible parent?
Being a parent is a calling. Just like how God gives spiritual gifts to His church, to glorify Him & build His kingdom. God gives us children as gifts, and calls us as parents to HONOUR Him with our children.
What is a calling?
It’s God’s initiative to bring people to Christ and to participate in God’s work in the world. It is God’s mission for you on earth.
When God calls and you answer, you are obeying God. With obedience, it leads to surrender and submission. The journey may be tough, but God will grant us the wisdom and strength to carry through.
That’s why parenting is a calling. You have to see it as your mission in life. To grow and nurture the child, in body, spirit and truth. You do it because you love God and you love the child. No matter how hard it may be, you persevere on. Through success & failure, you stick to your calling and trust in God. A calling is for life. It is a lifelong commitment. We don’t stop being a parent. Despite difficulties and disappointments, we keep on trying. We don’t quit being a parent. We just parent in different ways, with different degrees of control as the years go by.
Do you see parenting as a calling or a job?
你爱你的家吗？
“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3