男儿当自强
男人流血不流泪
一个男人要养家，要顾家，要护家，要爱家…
So it seems like fulfilling the role of a man is fully filled with so many responsibilities. Sounds so stressful ya…
In an observation through IMH’s Community Health Assessment Team (CHAT), only 30 per cent of those who seek help for mental health issues are MEN. They are also more likely to drop out before their first reach out session. And yet, according to data released by Samaritans of Singapore, men are 2.5 times more likely to die by suicide than women.
So men are facing issues but are less willing to seek help. That is going to be a problem if left unresolved.
Therefore to remain sane and strong and still survive fatherhood, men need to devote time to take care of ourselves.
Self-care is also a form of caring for my family.
Agree?
If I don’t learn to take care of myself, and something happens to me, then who will be there to take care of my family? if I don’t stay healthy, how can I take care of the health of my family? Or maybe even worse, I fall sick and become a burden to my family and they have to take care of me.
One of the things I miss most pre-Covid is taking part in running races. The crowd, the noise, the adrenaline, the cheering for one another and the desire to better your previous timing. Friends used to ask me why do you run/ exercise so much? One of the main reasons is because I want to stay strong and fit so that I can take care of my family. (another reason is so that I can eat more French fries 🍟)
Even my kids asked me this question before. I shared honestly with them that papa needs to take care of my health so that I am strong enough to take care of them. I told them about 公公 who was in poor health towards the last few years of his life as he did not take good care of himself. I recounted the many times I received calls from the hospital that my dad had been admitted and the countless times I had to visit him in the hospital/ discharge him. It was highly stressful and there was no clear solution to his health problems. When 公公 passed on, I constantly remind myself to take care of my own health so that I won’t become a burden to my family in the near future.
How about a man’s mental and social health? Where do we find the time and energy to take care of this aspect? Somewhere when we were more settled with the kids (think it’s when mei was 3yo), I started this habit of going for a long run on Wednesdays after work and settling dinner on my own. This became known as ME Wednesdays where I can
Have time for a long run which is what I love to do and this is my way of relieving stress and taking care of my mental health. By taking in the sights the sounds and sometimes the smell 🤢 and explore different running routes. This will later develop into me trying different sports like gym class trials, Muay Thai etc.
Have my reflection time and pen my thoughts in my journal. I’ll share more on the importance of reflection in a future post.
Arrange to meet friends. I know I’m readily available on Wednesday evenings and as long as my friends are free on Wednesdays. This will always be an open slot to catch up with old friends, new friends and new-friends-to-be.
ME Wednesdays became the day I filled my mental and social health love tank.
And because we made it a constant part of our schedule, I have the confidence to fulfil my responsibilities well, no matter how tiring it is. To exaggerate it a bit more, I believe ME Wednesdays saved my life, my marriage and my family! Cos I went home every Wednesday night a happier man and husband, and a Ready-to-Go father 💪
You make time for whatever you believe is important. Set aside time for you and only you on a regular basis no matter how busy you may be. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family.
你 要 保 守 你 心 ， 胜 过 保 守 一 切 ， 因 为 一 生 的 果 效 是 由 心 发 出 。 箴 言 4:23